Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
