nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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