Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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