The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
