Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
