Me. At least after what I've been through.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
