a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
