home. puking in laundry basket.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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