Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
one two three fourrrrnication!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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