you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
