The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You took a bar mat shot.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
