The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
As shirtless as possible
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
