Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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