why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize