dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
