it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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