So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
