I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
