how can u be prego again
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
