I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
