rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
