I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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