whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
