All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
