Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize