I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
