it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize