im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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