Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
