Don't make out with my wife yet
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
