the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize