I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
