dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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