My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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