she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize