i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
