hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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