HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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