Do you still have your period?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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