Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
