Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
