my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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