Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
