I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
