She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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