Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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