Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
