Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
