i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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