She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
