It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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