jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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