Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I didn't notice because vodka
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
