only if we run a train.
done.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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