my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
