my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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