Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
