i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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