one might say we're banned from that church
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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