Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
