omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I intend to get homeless drunk
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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