my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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