the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
