Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
