That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
