I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
